Plays for Performance

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  • Twit Theatre

    • I posted a new photo to Facebook 1 week ago
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    • RT @KLT__: That's the last full week of rehearsals for Unleashed! Don't miss this fantastic show… 1 month ago
    • Anyone with an Android phone and lines to learn needs to get this: It's free and brilliant. 1 month ago
    • [Sam] My laptop has won a Brit award. [Bill] A laptop can't win a Brit award. [Sam] It can if it's a dell. 3 months ago
    • [Tobias] Das Gefühl ist weg Sie und ich, Es bedeutet mir nichts, Dies bedeutet nichts für mich, Oh, Wien. [Bill] This means nothing to me. 3 months ago
    • [Jo] I got my friends some goldfish but they died a week later. [Ben] Oh, that's a shame. [Jo] It's ok. At least I got to keep the fish. 4 months ago
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    • [Ian] Put a note in my windscreen. I've just paid my car tax. [Bob] They don't issue discs now. [Ian] The note says 'tax disc in the past'. 1 year ago
    • [Ed] How would you describe yourself? [Mike] I am a man of mystery. [Ed] Can you expand on that? [Mike] No. 1 year ago
  • Call Girls

    Short One Act. 4 f 1 m isdn 1840945702 Published by New Theatre Publications
  • Fresh Showers for the Thirsting Flowers

    One Act 2 f isdn 1840945788 Published by New Theatre Publications
  • The Trial of Socrates

    One Act 5M Copyright 2007
  • Waiting for a Train

    Full Length. 4 f 1 variable isdn 9781840946161 Published by New Theatre Publications
  • Mad Gary’s Fruit and Nut Case

    Full Length 4M 4F 6 others. isdn 9781840946772. Published by New Theatre Publications
  • Life Begins at Seventy

    Full Length 2M 3F isbn 9781906997250 Published by Jasper Publishing
  • Mission Impossible

    One Act. 3 f 2 m isdn 9781840947519 Published by New Theatre Publications

One Page Play – The Breakdown

Posted by playwright on January 2, 2007

Saleman: (As a man approaches) Are you a member sir?

Driver: A member of what?

Salesman: A member of the Automobile Organisation sir. Do you have car breakdown cover?

Driver: My car is a highly crafted piece of engineering. It is a thing of beauty. A masterpiece of design. An ambassador for the progress that mankind has made since the invention of the wheel. The embodiment of science as an art form. This is not some piece of boring junk produced on an assembly line in the far east. Each part is precision made by the country’s finest mechanical engineers then lovingly put together with the emphasis on craftsmanship rather than speed and profit.

Salesman: Break down a lot does it?

Driver: All the time.

Salesman: Then you would be interested in our fully comprehensive package. You will never be stranded again.

Driver: I can’t have your lot jumping in the with your monkey wrenches and lump hammers. Any repairs must be carried out back at the factory by their um…

Saleman: Idiots?

Driver: No.

Saleman: Charlatans?

Driver: No.

Saleman: Mindless imbeciles?

Driver: Skilled technicians.

Saleman: And how do you get it to the factory sir? Perhaps you would be interested in our relay only service. Guaranteed to have someone with you in an hour. Pop your car onto our trailer and we’ll take you wherever you want to go.

Driver: The factory send a man out.

Salesman: Within an hour.

Driver: Within a month.

Salesman: So there is nothing I can do for you?

Driver: There is one thing.

Salesman: Name it!

Driver: You couldn’t lend me some money for a taxi could you?

4 Responses to “One Page Play – The Breakdown”

  1. […] by playwright on May 24th, 2007 My short play Breakdown was perfomed as part of the Gone in 60 Seconds festival at Harrogate […]

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