One Page Play – The Breakdown
Posted by playwright on January 2, 2007
Saleman: (As a man approaches) Are you a member sir?
Driver: A member of what?
Salesman: A member of the Automobile Organisation sir. Do you have car breakdown cover?
Driver: My car is a highly crafted piece of engineering. It is a thing of beauty. A masterpiece of design. An ambassador for the progress that mankind has made since the invention of the wheel. The embodiment of science as an art form. This is not some piece of boring junk produced on an assembly line in the far east. Each part is precision made by the country’s finest mechanical engineers then lovingly put together with the emphasis on craftsmanship rather than speed and profit.
Salesman: Break down a lot does it?
Driver: All the time.
Salesman: Then you would be interested in our fully comprehensive package. You will never be stranded again.
Driver: I can’t have your lot jumping in the with your monkey wrenches and lump hammers. Any repairs must be carried out back at the factory by their um…
Saleman: Mindless imbeciles?
Driver: Skilled technicians.
Saleman: And how do you get it to the factory sir? Perhaps you would be interested in our relay only service. Guaranteed to have someone with you in an hour. Pop your car onto our trailer and we’ll take you wherever you want to go.
Driver: The factory send a man out.
Salesman: Within an hour.
Driver: Within a month.
Salesman: So there is nothing I can do for you?
Driver: There is one thing.
Salesman: Name it!
Driver: You couldn’t lend me some money for a taxi could you?